Go, Find Those Wonderful Things
by IAmKayDubs
Summary: Berwald is a hopeless man. He wants to take a path that would be irreversible. He is on the brink of winning and losing, and it takes the innocence of a child and the kindness of another man to show him that not everything in the world is cruel. (Warning: Attempted suicide.)


The day is chilly. Tino draws his jacket tighter around him, letting out a soft sigh.

He feels a tug on his sleeve.

"Daddy?"

"What's wrong, Peter?"

"Look!" Peter says, pointing towards the fence that surrounds the mall rooftop they are sitting on.

Tino's hand flies to his mouth. A man is starting to climb over the fence.

A few other people notice the man as well, but nobody will move.

Tino stands, ready to say something, but he notices that Peter is gone from his seat on the bench.

He glances back at the man. He finds that Peter is standing against the fence, tiny fingers clutching the thick wires that make up the chain-link fence.

Tino approaches slowly, but he doesn't stop Peter or try to intervene quite yet. The man is now perched on the edge of the building, on the concrete slab that extends only a bit farther than a foot.

"Mister?" Peter asks, looking up at the man.

The man, tall and built well, looks down at Peter, the light glinting off of his glasses.

"Hi, there..." The man murmurs, his voice thick.

"What are you doing?"

The man frowns, his eyes drooping a bit. "Something that I need to do, it's been too long."

It's Peter's turn to frown. "You have to? Why's that?"

"I need to go somewhere. I can't stay here."

"You're going away...? How come?"

The man's throat constricts tighter.

"I just do..." The man says, feeling as if someone is forcing molasses down his throat. "I'm so sorry you have to be here..."

Peter's eyebrows furrow, and his lips part in confusion. "Then don't go. Stay here, you can hang out with my daddy and I. It'll be fun! Then you don't have to worry."

The man so desperately wants to hold back tears, but a few fall anyway.

"Why are you crying, mister?" Peter asks.

"I'm sorry... Please... Go back with your daddy. Just give him a really long hug for me, okay? Please."

Peter won't listen.

"But what about you? You look like you need help, and I was told to always help people that need it."

"It's not really that easy..." The man says softly, sounding hoarser and hoarser.

Peter can only stare. He doesn't know what else to say.

Tino steps in, now. At only seven, Peter is still naïve. He doesn't understand. But that's a good thing.

"Sir...?" Tino steps up to the fence slowly.

The man looks down at him, drinking in his features. The air seems to hang still in the cloudless blue sky.

"What's your name?" Tino prompts.

"Berwald."

"I'm Tino... This is my son, Peter."

"A very sweet boy you have."

"Thank you..."

"I know what you're going to say. The usual stuff, right? 'You have a full happy life ahead of you.'" Berwald sighs. "That sort of thing."

"No. I only want to say that I understand what you are going through."

Berwald shakes his head. "You couldn't. You don't."

"I do, Berwald. I was just like you. I see myself in your eyes. I felt no purpose, no reasons to exist. I was so close to standing on the edge of a building myself."

Berwald thinks about that.

"Please, won't you listen to me? I know life can turn against you... I know it can be a struggle just to get out of bed or do things you used to love... It hurts. Worse than anything else."

Berwald doesn't speak. Tino continues anyway.

"But life is worth it. It really is. It may be a daily battle, but it's worth it to see the wonderful things that peek through the bad," Tino says, his voice soft. "If I had lost the war, I wouldn't have Peter by my side today, and I can't even imagine that..." Tino pulls Peter closer to him, letting Peter's head rest against his hip.

"Wonderful things, you say? I've yet to see them..."

"You just have to look. They're everywhere, but they aren't always obvious."

Berwald glances down. The cars create a blur on the street below.

"Like what?" Berwald questions.

"Like you."

Berwald's eyes crinkle with skepticism and confusion. "What?"

"I can tell, you are one of those wonderful things. You've fought a long battle, and you're on the brink of losing the war. Teetering on the edge of winning and losing it... But you won't lose, will you? Oh, please, say you won't."

Berwald brings a shut fist to his mouth, his eyes squeezing shut. Tears spill down, and his body shakes slightly. He turns around to face the fence, his forehead falling to it, the force sending the whole panel trembling.

He stands there for a while, tears streaming down. Total silence fills the rooftop. All the people sitting there have frozen since they first saw Berwald climb the fence.

He pulls up his head. His face is pink and shiny, his eyes still swimming with pain.

Finally, with a deep, shaky sigh, he shakes his head.

"I won't..." He whispers.

Tino feels tears of relief in his eyes.

Berwald slowly begins climbing back up the fence. He takes it slowly, finally hoisting himself over to the safe side of the rooftop.

Tino reaches up a hand to help him down, which is accepted gingerly.

The man lands on the concrete with a soft thump, finally entirely inside. Many sighs of relief are heard from the people around them.

Berwald wipes at his eyes, taking in a deep breath, feeling the chilly air in his lungs.

"Hey, mister!" Peter pipes up, breaking the heavy tension.

Berwald glances down, smiling at the boy. "Yes?"

"I'm glad you didn't go wherever you were going to go!"

Berwald crouches down, smiling gently. This innocent young boy... He's one of the wonderful things as well.

Berwald lays a hand on Peter's shoulder. "Thank you."

Berwald stands, turning towards Tino.

"You too... Thank you... You are a very kind man, Tino."

Tino manages a smile, though it hides worry. Berwald may have decided not to jump today... But what was to say he wouldn't do it a month from now, or even a year...

"I can tell what you're thinking. You're worried that I'll just come back and jump some other time..."

Tino's mouth opens to speak, but Berwald beats him to it.

"Don't worry about me. I'm going to try and get help. I want to at least ease the pain, because I don't want to have to jump anymore than you want me to."

"You're a strong man, Berwald. I know you can fight the battles to come. If you ever need any help, Peter and I will always be here."

As if on cue, Peter latches on to Berwald's leg, his head tipped all the way back to see him properly.

"Playing can make you happy, so if you ever need someone to play with, you can play with me!"

Berwald glances down fondly at the boy.

"Of course, Peter. I'll play with you sometime, I promise."

"Pinkie swear?" Peter asks, his eyes glimmering with excitement. He extends his pinkie finger and reaches his arm up as high as it will go.

Berwald smiles. Today is one of the first times in a long while that Berwald can remember having a reason to smile. How odd, too, since only twenty minutes prior he had been feeling more hopeless than he ever had.

Berwald hooks his much larger pinkie around Peter's tiny, pudgy one.

"Pinkie swear." He whispers.

A/N: And here's even more of Berwald and Tino (and Peter). No, this one isn't very shippy, but it's not really realistic to make it romantic, due to the subject matter.

This was very intense to write... I'm hoping I was able to portray everything correctly.

Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed.

-KayDubs


End file.
